Reproduced from my old blog.
Words behind an asterisk do not belong to this lexicon, strictly speaking.
adoration
Speech of praise given by a company, directed toward itself, in a commercial break.
altercation
A situation that, due to one getting charged up, spoils a positive setting.
*apothecary
Pharmacist who at any given time has a packet of medical marijuana on him.
arbitration
Settling of a sharing dispute by allotting each party a measure chosen at random.
*assiduousness
The quality of working your buttocks off. Not one, but both of them.
bartender
A mixer of drinks who switches off the pub television when the Simpsons show comes on.
caprice [economics]
Unpredictability in the MRP of staple grains.
castrate [as quoted in The Young Auteur's Guide]
To emasculate a film production company by making a movie with actors demanding astronomical pay.
*catastrophe
Ecological disaster that ensues by killing large numbers of lions, leopards, &c. in view of turning them into prized possessions.
centrally [politics]
With the national government, a policy citizens oppose by gathering in multitudes and contributing copper pennies toward the cause.
cheroots
A variety of cigars threatening to overtake its native counterpart in Cuba. They gained in popularity when Castro revealed that Guevara approved of them.
constrain
(1) To restrict a prisoner's movements, causing him or her psychological difficulties.
(2) To hold back an optimistic plan by rattling off a long list of demerits in it.
(3) To confine to one's residence all day on account of a ceaseless thunderstorm.
countermine
Scheme to get back at a feudal aristocrat by sabotaging his expensive fur.
decivilization
Reduction to a primitive or savage state.
vilization
Reduction to complete depravity. Considered ten times malicious as decivilization.
deliberated
Reflected carefully as to the surprise ingredient in the sandwich your impatient customer ordered after directing unflattering remarks towards you.
detergents
The chemicals that make men loathe to do the laundry.
denounce
Literally, to speak out against a cat that never leaves its abode. A political metaphor used to protest against a government's refusal to trade.
discover
Find that the music stopped a while back.
divine
Supernatural. Doubly creepy.
dormant
Never attending lectures but erupting like a volcano in the exam to end up topping the class on account of having untiringly toiled like a colony insect in the confines of one's hostel room.
enterprising [sales and marketing]
Marked by the willingness to embark on imaginative ways of opening one's customers' wallets up by force.
*equinox
A cattle beast that's a cross between a horse and a bovine, which slaves 12 hours a day with its eyes open and 12 hours closed.
flagrant
Outrageously offensive in the way a speech of excessive emotion delivered at Independence/Republic Day meetings is.
formally
In a courtly, established manner, aimed to make comrades.
hamstring
A tendon that amateur radio operators often injure by making a quick dash to their transceivers when they beep.
heartrending
Causing deep anguish by making one come to know of current societal tendencies.
illimitable
Characterized by an abundance not easily duplicated.
impasses
The problems of dealing with children who are at once mischievous and moronic, for which no known solutions exist.
infertile
Incapable, as construed from a species of astrology involving pushing Scrabble letters around, of issue.
interview
An opportunity to exercise the noble deed of uttering what your listener wishes to hear and burying your own opinion.
intuition
That which cannot be taught in tuition [courtesy: YSP].
laconic
Brief in speech, as practised by certain habitants of an otherwise talkative Paris. Such as mentioned are said to be afflicted with eccentricity.
malefactor
The non-definition printed in self-respecting dictionaries owing to plainness of meaning.
massacre
The murder of several people after putting them all within certain sq. yards of land.
mendicant
He that claims inability to set right his life to defend his beggary.
methought [archaic, humourous]
"It struck me that."
E.g., Methought an amphetamine should do the trick.
notable
(1) [of a person] Catching one's attention for complete want of aptitude.
(2) [of a room] Catching one's attention for complete want of furniture.
overturn
An unexpected Ashes victory by England. The English claim no surprise on an overturn because the container of the original ashes displays, indisputably, the names of only their cricketers.
overlooking [as defined for gentlemen]
Glancing down upon the tile patterns, as an emperor upon his courtiers, while seated on the commode.
peeking [as defined for gentlemen]
Glancing down upon the tile patterns, as an emperor upon his courtiers, while not seated on the commode.
plumbing
Making a fruitful search on the Internet in order to go to the depths of some matter.
poetry
A rough draft of The Raven.
reappear
To make a second coming as a fruit does upon being plucked.
restore
Bring an overfunctioning extraction plant to its original efficiency by pausing the mining process.
stubborn
Adamant about leaving a wikipedia article short after creating it.
sundry
All sorts of clothes on a line.
teasingly
In a playfully mocking manner.
E.g., To drive home the atrocity of his prices, the three of us teasingly ordered merely one glass of beverage from Nair.
temporal
Momentary as the reading in a thermometer taken out of your mouth.
trifling
Describing the three or less casual relationships a person is allowed to have prior to marriage without seriously damaging it.
untoward
Pertaining to something you would not like to happen to your child.
virulent
Relating to the destructivity of the Indian top order, a quality it owes to its opener.
warbling
Collective name for the sounds a lover of the past makes as he enters a WWII museum.
warplane
An aircraft that, by virtue of flying faster than Superman, causes his girlfriend to lose interest in him.
winnow
To remove the underperformers from a side in pursuit of an immediate turnover of fortunes.